My first concern was Noelle’s well being. Was someone making fun of her? Was someone hurting her? Is she without friends, the loner in the corner? With carefully asked questions, so as to not lead her answers, she assured us no one was upsetting her and she had made many new friends. She just didn’t want to go and would rather be at home.
Awww, how sweet it sounds. That is, until I am standing outside the school, wet hair, no makeup, and glasses (having had to drive her, unplanned, after she refused to get on the bus) while Noelle grips onto my pants, pulling them down as I try to drag myself away from her. Oh yeah, it was that bad. Her usual docile self was way gone. She was screaming at the top of her lungs, begging to go home, chasing after me, kicking and screaming the aids. She was that kid. It was brutal.
Before this dramatic scene, at home, she has come up with a seemingly infinite list of excuses not to go each morning. Let me list them for your amusement and future blackmail:
*With her eye squeezed shut she comes to me and says, “I have pink eye and can’t open my eye, it’s stuck shut”.
*”My legs won’t work, I’m too tired” and she
*”I don’t need school, I know everything the teacher tell us already.”
*”I love you so much and I just want to be with you every moment I can”
*”If I go to school I could miss Zane taking his first steps. You don’t work so you can see all the special moments. Why can’t I?”
*”I’m just so sick, my mind doesn’t work anymore”
*”I won’t eat any food all day if you send me.”
*”I will do all the chores you ask me to if I can please stay home”
It’s endless, but after a nice chat with her teacher we both have concluded that she must go and it will get easier. Of course this is crushing to a mother. Walking away while my little girl is in the throes of a meltdown, screaming and begging for “one more hug and kiss” for the tenth time. Meanwhile, Max, Violette, and Zane watch, upset at the display of emotions coming from their sister, whom they look up to and adore.
This morning was better, a little. She did get on the bus (I will not be taking her to school for awhile because I prefer to keep my pants free from dragging children!), with only a medium amount of tears. I hope that has the weeks go by and the review of basic concepts have ended and new learning begun, that Noelle sees the joy in learning and school.
Noelle continues on with horseback riding lessons. I’m hoping the good posture and responsibility encourages confidence in my shy little girl. Her little body looks so regal up on a horse, practicing posting and riding with her back straight, she makes me proud. During her lesson Max, Violette, Zane and I get to walk through the barns and love on all the other horses and that is a huge bonus for us.
Time will ease the separation anxiety and I will remember this time in her school career as another period of growth. She needs to spread her shy little wings and go out on her own. In the meantime I will continue to take her temperature each morning to prove that she does not have a fever, again!
2 comments:
I know I shouldn't have...but this had me laughing until tears were flowing!! Poor Noelle...poor mama :)
Sweet Noelle...it will get better I promise! For you too Natalie. That doesn't mean there won't be days of absolute meltdowns, but eventually they'll get fewer and farther between. Hang in there.
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