Each and every feeling a mother goes through spans the emotional spectrum. The best we can do, is love them, listen to them, teach them, and lead by example. We are about to go through a bit of change around here. Tom will be handling a new project out of town. This will mean I will be husbandless during the week for awhile. Awhile, meaning well over a year. Lots of discussion went into this decision. Lots of sleepless nights, late conversations, and tears. Ultimately, we decided it was a good career move and something we could handle.
My Dad was gone during the week when I was growing up and I thought about that a lot while deciding if this was right for our family. You know what struck out the most? It didn't affect me at all. I remember him being gone, but I remember the time spent on the weekends more. I remember the quality of the time we did have together. Looking back it wasn't that big of a deal that he was gone during the week because when he was home, he was 100% present and 100% engaged with us. Streaming through childhood memories, I was not lacking on affection or attention and I barely recognize my Dad's absence. Quality vs. quantity, my Mom mentioned to me, and she's right.
This is not an immediate change, but it is predicted to fully take affect in October. I consider it a blessing to be able to fully get into the swing of the 2015/2016 school year before this new way of life becomes our new norm.
Noelle will enter her last year of elementary school, in 4th grade. Max will become 2nd grader, and Violette will be a 1st grader. Zane will once again, do Thursday School. Next year he will enter Kindergarten.
Already, I have been thrown a few curve balls. Teacher assignments were not what I expected and not what I necessarily wanted, but I have ceased the crying and am ready to accept this new adventure. My teeth are grinding and snarky comments are flying through my head at a rapid pace, but my face will exude excitement and a smile will be planted. My apprehension and annoyance at the situation will not show to the children, at least that is what I'm working on.
The countdown to school is basically ignored. They are all in denial. Mornings have been slow and easy, without much of a plan. They wake, relax, chose breakfast slowly, play, then eventually get dressed. I am letting them soak up the ease of a summer schedule. Why rush the inevitable? It will come, and they will swing into their school schedule without too many complaints. Bedtime has stayed consistent all summer, so that will not be a problem.
For now we play, play, and play some more. The sun is out, the temperature up. There will come a day when play is something they have forgotten how to do. The thousands of Lego's will be ignored. The action figures will sit, unmoved, in the drawers. The Barbie's will never find clothes and lay in the bin, naked. I will miss yelling at them to pick up the toys. I will miss sitting in the next room listening to their voices create voices and pretend games. I will miss the time where all the bandages are gone, as another animal underwent a life saving operation. I will miss it. So, I am letting them play these last days. I am choosing not to jam a bunch of last minute summer fun. They are creating their own fun. The blank patio/deck space has become a large hole littered with dump trucks and shovels and every child that comes over is drawn to that hole. It gets bigger and deeper and their smile grow larger and the laughs louder. I'm letting them go.
Pictures have nothing to do with this post, just things we have done over the past month, visiting good friends, the Feyes', a impromptu Zoo trip, and more swimming lessons.
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