A Noteworthy Milestone

After 3 years, 3 months, and 30 days (or 1218 straight days), Zane is now officially weaned from nursing.  I'm still in shock that we continued on for this long, seeing as with Noelle I was unsure of even breast feeding to begin with.  I dived into much research and decided it was the best for  the baby.  We had a rocky start, requiring a lactation consultant to come into our home to help, but we persevered and made it.

Noelle continued to nurse until around 7 months, due to pregnancy.  Maximilian lasted 8 months and stopped when I again, became pregnant.  Violette went until 14 months and Zane's pregnancy stopped her.  I never gave myself a time table, knowing that breast milk is truly THE BEST thing for any baby.  I went with what felt right for the child and I, learning with each one and  gaining more and more confidence, and reading my children's ques.

With Noelle nursing was a chore.  I was embarrassed, uncomfortable, and felt as if all eyes were on me.  I nursed in public restrooms, hidden behind the bathroom doors, squatting above the toilets.  I would be dripping sweat, worked up, and disliking the whole experience.  Looking back, she was also feeding off of my awkwardness, needless to say, we didn't get out much and avoided public nursing at all costs.  I began to pump more and use formula.

Confidence grew with each child.  I discovered Hooter Hiders and was able to cover myself in public and confidently nurse my children.  I began to feel pride for myself, to be able to give such a wonderful gift to each child.  To supply them with the liquid gold of food, and give them what is regarded at the most complete form of nutrition, with a wide range of benefits for infants' and toddlers' health, growth, immunity, and development, is such a gift and I was happy and proud to be able to do this for my children.

When I gave birth to Zane the nurses actually asked me to help out first time mother's with their nursing.  I shuffled to their rooms, sore from the c-section, but eager to help and tired of being alone in my room with only Z.  I shared with a couple of new moms what worked best for me, showed them how I did it. It was wonderful to be able to help, and I feel blessed to be given the opportunity to help them.  It gave me a another boost in confidence as well that I would take the route of self weaning and not set any time limits.

By the time Zane came around there was no doubt I would not give him any formula and continue on with nursing as long as we both were comfortable and benefiting from it.  In my mind I thought one year would be great to make it till and reevaluate the situation then.  When that rolled around it was 18m, then 2 years, then 2.5 years, then 3 years.  I knew it was working for him and I.  I knew there was nothing wrong with it, despite some outside opposition.  I knew it was best for him and I knew he would wean himself when HE was ready, not when society dictated that it was time.

I didn't push his weaning, with the commotion of the move he seemed to transition into not needing/wanting to nurse and I didn't encourage him to do it.  A few times while in the new house he resorted back to wanting it, and I let him.  Then it seemed like he would forget and I wouldn't remind him, especially at night.  I snuggled him in and during the time he would usually ask to nurse, I told him stories and held him tight and he was ready to fall asleep on his own, he was ready to wean.

I am feeling surprisingly good, void of the intense emotion that I anticipated feeling.  I am proud of myself as a mother for believing in my convictions about not forcing Zane to stop because it suited me, or others.  I am ready to close the door on nursing and to open the next door on having four children that are not dependent on me.

A small twinge of sadness has entered, of course.  I cherished those afternoon nursing sessions, when Zane would crawl onto my lap and fall asleep for less than 30 mins, but just enough time to hold him tight and drink in all that is him.  He did not require a regular scheduled long nap, just a catnap some afternoons was all he required.  It was  our down time together and that will always hold a special place in my heart.

It Actually Happened

I sit at our built in desk, enjoying the view of Violette and Zane running around, playing together.  Last Friday, February 7th, we spent our first night in the new house. We closed on February 5th.  Of course, on the 4th we were again dumped upon with a substantial amount of snow and Zane woke up throwing up!  Noelle and Max had a snow day, so we all packed in the minivan and made the horrific drive into AA, complete with a puke bucket for Zane to sign all the papers!  Never a dull moment!   I officially handed over the keys to the new owners on the old house, Sunday, February 9th.  So everything is moved in and we are finally settling in.

Moving was an overwhelming experience, one that was a lot harder than we anticipated.  The short move had us fooled into thinking, "we'll just grab and go, it'll be simple".  We were fortunate to have the help of neighbors, my Dad, and an out of town friend, Andy, to aid in the process over a few days, also a couple friends helped to watch the children, and another packed up my kitchen.  Their help was astronomical and completely needed. We were overwhelmed, exhausted, overwhelmed (yep, it's a word that I'm using many times over as it envelopes exactly what we were feeling), and emotionally stretched.  Plus the weather was unbelievably cold and the wind wiped along, freezing us all out.

Records amounts of snow fall and low temperatures have made for an unforgettable winter. Throw in moving and we will never forget this winter.  EVER. The piles of snow on each side of the UHAUL are courteous of Tom, he has shoveled his heart out this season!

But we are home now.  The house is finally getting our personal touches, boxes are slowly getting unpacked, privacy is becoming ours as window treatments are put up, and the children are playing by themselves more and more.  It's been a lovely house, Tom and I are so grateful to now be living here.  We sit by the fire in the evening, the children asleep so far away from us, we can laugh and delight in the pleasures of change and not even worry about waking the sleeping monsters.  The layout of this place has been very functional and we are easily getting used to all the space.

Surprisingly, all the children have been sleeping fairly well, making it through most nights without waking up.  Tom and I are also starting to sleep better, getting used to the creaks and odd noises of a new place.  This weekend we were able to hunker down and really get some unpacking completed and enjoy some morning of sleeping in past 7am together as the children headed downstairs by themselves to play.  JOY!

As the house gets more and more completed I will add pictures, but for now if you want to see it, you must visit!

Good Bye Dear Friend

We have said goodbye to our dear dog, Zeus.  I never envisioned myself as a dog person.  In fact, I remember not ever wanting a dog when I was younger.  I also wanted only one child, but that's another chapter.  When Noelle was just over a year old I was craving the companionship of the canine variety.  It was easy to convince Tom and Noelle and I quickly found a breeder and picked out a puppy together.  And that's how Zeus came to find a home with us.

Noelle, then Max, then Violette, then Zane, put him through the ringer.  He was sat on, pulled, prodded, picked at, dressed up, you name that dog had done to him all while sitting still and taking it.  He was truly the perfect dog for our family.  The perfect companion for our family of wild and crazy children.

Sure he had his shortcomings.  He drooled like a St. Bernard, barked uncontrollably at EVERYTHING, hated men in hats, and was extremely stubborn.  He was always nervous, and whined a lot.  Despite all his neurotic tendencies, we adored him and loved him with all our hearts.  He cuddled up on the couch with Tom, was used for step stools, loved to be near us at all times, protected the house in an overzealous way, and again, we adored him.

The kids took this loss hard, Tom took it even harder, and I miss him more than I ever though was possible. He wasn't just a dog to us, he was a family member.  He had solidified his position in our family and it will never be able to be filled.

We love you dear Zeus and you will be missed.

Here She Is

Here is a picture of the house.  Closing on it is still up in the air as far as time and date.  One thing is certain, we have to be out of the current residence by Friday at 7pm.  Stressed?  I can't even put into words the overwhelming amount of stress I'm experiencing.  We have no appliances yet, and can not move anything in until we close.  Alas, it will all come together, because it has to.  We will get out and into this beauty, very, very soon.

A beautiful white porch is sitting in the basement, ready for warm weather!